Friday, August 2, 1996

It Piles Up.

Oh man, does it ever. Computers were supposed to help eliminate or at least cut down on the amount of paperwork we face in today's world, but that hasn't happened. If you own your own business, as I do, you know the mountains of paperwork involved in running an operation. Most of it is government-related and completely unnecessary. There are tax forms, earnings reports, workmen's comp, quarterly forecasts, income and expenses reports, purchase orders, memos, letters, estimates, invoices, expense vouchers and on and on and on...
Additionally, I've found that I must make hard copies of every diskette file that I create, since the darned diskettes have a repeated habit of crashing and not letting me recover the data. In the past six years, I've lost four diskettes and over 130 files. Anybody from Maxell Corporation listening out there? Your diskettes are junk!
Now I back up with a Colorado Tape Drive. The result: diskettes still crash but at least I haven't lost the data.

Corporate Memo.

Corporations and especially the government are fond of using acronymns, capital letters that they think stands for a series of words, thereby making another word. HUD (Housing & Urban Development), DEP (Department of Environmental Protection), IBM (International Business Machines), well you get the idea of how they think.
Here's a sample "Memo" that came from corporate cyberspace:

The shitola Corporation

MEMO: To All Employees FROM: Management REF: Special High Intensity Training
In order to insure the highest level of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through our new program of Special High Intensity Training (shit). We are trying to give our employees more shit than anyother employer.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of shit on the job, please see your group or division manager. You will then be immediately placed at the top of the shit list. Our managers are especially swhacked at seeing that you get all the shit you can handle.

Employees who do not elect to take shit will be placed in Department Employee Evaluation Programs -- Special High Intensity Training (DEEP shit) levels.

Those who fail to take DEEP shit seriously will have to go through Employee Attitude Training (EAT shit). Since our managers took shit before they were promoted, they don't have to do shit anymore, because they are full of shit already.

If you are full of shit, you may be interested in a job training others.

We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULL shit). Those who are full of BULL shit will get the trainer positions, and can apply for Director of Intensity Programming (DIP shit).

If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training -- Special High Intensity Training (HOT shit).

Boss In General,
Special High Intensity Training

(BIG shit)

The Cost.

Handling paperwork, the sorting, filing, indexing, retrieving, re-sorting, re-filing, re-indexing ad finitum, ad nauseum is what mounts up. The time involved in physically managing files adds 25-30% to a customer's retail price. Handling things once in an efficient manner can keep the overhead and final delivered retail price within reason.
I see the paperwork juggernaught overwhelming people every day. I even have my days when I'd like to junk it all and head for a remote mountain in Colorado or Oregon. But we somehow cope and survive.

The Remedy.

Minimizing paperwork is the only thing that makes sense. Get the government out of people's and businesses' lives and reduce the interference and paperwork. Oh, it'll probably never happen with the liberals in The White House. They see the government's job as being in everyone's life and soon, in everyone's bedroom. Welfare, entitlements, grants, unemployment, more beaurocracy, more government for everyone. That's how those mindless cretins think, and it's exactly what they stand for. For the past 40 years, that kind of shit has ruined this country and it's citizens, creating trillion-dollar-deficits and turning tens of millions of people into government-dependent junkies with no hope or future at all. Nice going democrats!

TWA Flight 800 Tragedy.

Until it happened last week, the headlines were all too boring day after day. When TWAs Flight 800 went down off of Long Island Sound, NY, the media jumped on it with their usual fervor and relish for mass disaster. The so-called Fourth Estate has a responsibility and duty to report the news, not try to make it happen on their timetable.
Their coverage of the incident was overblown as usual, and it again went beyond the bounds of correctness, prompting many officials into premature announcements and statements that unnerved everyone. NYs governor, the local medical examiner's office, and many others were unbalanced by the media coverage of the victims' families screaming for recovery of the bodies at any cost, even at the safety of the searchers. The same was true for the Valu-Jet Flight 592 crash in the Florida Everglades; the media focused-in on the searchers' efforts to recover wreckage and bodies in one of the most difficult set of circumstances anywhere. The bottom line is that the liberal media establishment overstepped their area of responsibility and contributed to the scenario's confusion, rather than simply reporting what happened. This is unforgiveable and nears the territory of hindering an official investigation. I feel bad for the victims' families, but the reality of it all is the recovery of the wreckage is more important than the recovery of any bodies. Finding the cause of the crash superseedes all concern for the dead, so that the living aren't imperiled by a repeat of the incident. A harsh fact, but nonetheless a truism that everyone should accept.

Olympic Tragedy.

Quickly eclipsing the TWA Flight 800 situation was the almost-inevitable Olympic terrorist act on Saturday morning during a concert. For weeks, the liberal media had run stories in print and on TV about the possibility or the probability of it happening; almost daring someone to do such an horrible thing. And someone accepted the challenge: a fragmentary pipe bomb whacked one bystander and wounded 111 others. Again, it's the media's sole responsibility to report, not to encourage something like this to happen.
The FBIs investigation is still in its formative stages at this point, so by the time you read this, it might not be conclusive as to whether or not there are any valid suspects, at large or in custody. But one thing is again becoming clear: the media's meddlesome nature of prompting action by devoting so much pre-coverage that it almost encourages the action itself, must end.
When they do catch the sick bastard, it'll make a great case for keeping the death penalty legal in every state, and starting public torture and execution on TV in prime time.


While I personally find the media culpable in the Valu-Jet 592 and TWA 800 crash sensationalism, and contributing directly to the Olympic bombing, they must remain unrestricted and free if this democracy is continue. Externally-imposed sanctions and guidelines would only smack of totalitarianism or worse. But the media establishment itself must take on the full responsibillity for its actions, something they've never had the guts to do.

Get This Book.

A wonderful new book by David Siegel has just been released by Hayden Press, and it's called Creating whacker Web Sites On Line, and it's the only book on that subject I've bought and read. In fact, I've read it twice and am on my third reading. It's that good.
I was stunned at the quality and depth of content in Siegel's book, but not suprised. Anything less than slick wouldn't have Dave Siegel's name on it. He is, afterall, the guy who started all this design stuff on The Web. So call the nearest Borders Bookstore and get a copy today. It's $45 and well worth it!

Back To John's Journal

Let's Go Back To The Garden Center

Got something you want to spam me on?

Send e-mail to: