[When In Doubt, Reload Your Browser.]

the stinking rose
Friday, February 23, 2001

Not until about 25 years ago was I to become an unabashed fan of garlic, known by many names and used in many ways. After doing 16 weeks at the Culinary Institute of America, in between advertising jobs in New York City, I came to appreciate garlic's versatility and vibrance in cooking, as well as in folklore. With the exception of salt or pepper, there's probably not another herb or hispanice which approximates garlic's universal use in food, worldwide. For many years, I've said that people with garlic or onions on their breath are people worth knowing; those with Listerine® or toothpaste or Dentyne® on their breath, aren't.

The Much Maligned Garlic.
First, the very basics and history. Garlic is a member of the lily family, and a close relative of the onion. The plants have flat, grayish-green leaves, which grow to be a foot or two tall. During their bloom period, the plants send up slender stalks which produce edible flowers in a round, snowy-white head. Sometimes tiny, edible bulbs show up among the flowers.
The part of the garlic plant revered in song and story and treasured over the centuries is the bulb. A single bulb is composed of 8 to 12 sections called cloves, which are held together by a parchment-like covering.
Historically speaking, as early as 3000 B.C. Chinese scholars were writing the praises of garlic and it is mentioned in the earliest Sanskrit writings. The sacrificial lambs of China were seasoned with garlic to make them more acceptable to the gods.
Native to Siberia, it was worshipped by ancient Egyptians as a god, and its name was invoked at oath takings. Garlic was of such value to the Egyptians that fifteen pounds of it would purchase a healthy male slave. From the translations of the works of the Greek Historian, Herodotus, we know that the workers constructing the Great Pyramid at Giza lived mainly on garlic and onions. It is reported that pyramid builders, although surrounded by savage taskmasters, went on strike when deprived of their ration of garlic.
The Israelites, wandering in the Sinai desert with nothing but manna to keep them from starvation, complained bitterly at the absence of garlic in their diets. They thought longingly of hispanicy foods they had left behind, "the fish which they did eat, the leeks and the onions and the garlic."
The early Sumerian diet included garlic as a mainstay and garlic is also mentioned in the Shih Ching (The Book of Songs), a collection of traditional ballads, said to have been written by Confucius.
In the eighth century, B.C., garlic was found growing in the garden of the King of Babylon.
Homer also praised garlic.
The Vikings and Phoenicians packed it into their sea chests for long voyages, and in Boccaccio's "Decameron", a love stricken young man sent garlic to his lady in order to win her love and he did!
Crusaders, returning to Europe from battle, are credited with moving garlic to the continent. Marco Polo mentioned the many uses of garlic in records of his journeys.
So popular did this "lily" become in Europe that banquet guests were required to compose verses saluting it.
After being revered and loved by the common people for centuries, at the beginning of this century, garlic suffered a decline and became regarded as slightly improper by the bourgeois households of both America and England. By the end of World War II it was found only in gourmet shops.
Still valued as medicine, garlic has made a splendid comeback as a food flavoring in recent years. Informal postwar entertaining began to include salad bowls gingerly rubbed with a glove of garlic and, even more daring, garlic bread was served. Much of this is believed to have been brought about by Americans traveling in European countries. Today whole heads are baked and served with crusty bread as an appetizer.
There are many strains of garlic grown all over the world; about 300 in all. They range in color from white to dark wine shades. They grow with many cloves or few, with long cloves and stubby ones. Some even produce bulbs above the ground.
Of the many strains, the best for commercial growing are the Late, Early, Chileno, Chilean and Egyptian. Late Garlic is the most valued commercially for its long keeping qualities, firm bulbs and strong flavor. Early Garlic produces bulbs which are very large, rather flat in shape, covered with an off-white sheathing. This variety matures about a month earlier than the Late and is used primarily for dehydration.
History reports that the missionaries introduced garlic to California. Today California supplies approximately 90 percent of garlic grown in the United States of America. California garlic quality is rated among the best in the world.
Most garlic consumed in the United States is grown in five California counties: Monterey, San Benito, Santa Clara, Fresno, and Kern. Over 500 million pounds of garlic are produced each year in plantings on more than 27,000 acres, making California the number one garlic producing state.
The majority of the garlic grown in California is dehydrated and used in manufacturing catsup, mustard, sausage and pickles. It also goes into salts and powders, and a small amount is used for garlic powder pills and garlic oil pearls available in health food stores. Some 120 million pounds from California are sold fresh, with about 40 million pounds of fresh imported from other countries, making total U.S. consumption of fresh garlic about 80 million pounds.
Garlic does not produce true seeds, but must be propagated by individual cloves. They must be planted at uniform depth for uniform germination. The garlic must be irrigated thoroughly after planting and be kept moist until the plants emerge. Irrigation is by furrow and sprinkler to a depth of approximately 2 feet. When the plants have achieved full growth and the tops begin to show signs of yellowing, irrigation stops and the field is allowed to dry out for harvest.
Garlic is ready to harvest when 90 percent of the tops are brown and dry. When several different strains of garlic are planted, harvesting can start in June and continue through the first part of September. In harvesting, the bulbs are undercut to loosen the ground and permit the garlic to be pulled out. Dirt is removed from the roots and the garlic is placed in rows with the foliage of one plant covering the bulbs of the next, to prevent sun scald. Secondary covering of straw or dirt may be provided if the plant leaves are not sufficient. Garlic bulbs are placed heading into the prevailing wind to hasten drying.
Curing time depends on weather and size of the plant. The bulb is considered well cured when the sheathing is dry and paper like in texture, when the sin protecting the cloves is dry and inflexible and when the root crown is hard and the cloves can be separated from the bulb with a minimum of effort and bruising.
After about three weeks of curing, the garlic is trimmed by hand, graded and sorted. Culls are removed and bulbs are packaged. An acre yields about 15,000 pounds. Most of the garlic is placed in cardboard cartons for shipment to market. In the supermarket, shoppers will find garlic sold in bulk or in packages or small mesh bags containing two or three bulbs.
When purchasing garlic, consumers should look for firm, plump bulbs, with clean, dry, unbroken skins. In the home, it stores well, in a dry, cool place in an open container. Refrigeration is not recommended.
Dieters may use garlic with a lavish hand, since each clove contains only one to two calories.
Garlic contains the amino acid, allicin, which scientists say has antibiotic and bactericidal effects. It has been long accepted as a purgative, and is believed to promote cardiovascular activity and a beneficial, soothing action on the respiratory system. It is said that gladiators were instructed to eat garlic to make them capable of greater feats of strength in the stadium. Medieval medicine men believed that the fiercer the aroma of a plant, the more effective it must be. Hence garlic was recommended for every ailment from the common cold to unrequited love.
It is alleged to have cured high blood pressure, rheumatism, loss of appetite, lung trouble, toothache, freckles, snakebite, whooping cough, and baldness. Application was not only by eating, but garlic was made in poultices to ease the pain of a tooth or earache. It was laid on a baby's navel or applied to the soles of a patient's feet. The last application seems ludicrous, but it was believed that the volatile oils in garlic were so readily absorbed that if a small piece was rubbed on the soles of the feet a garlic-laden breath would instantly be exhaled by the lungs.
Folk medicine says that a cold will surely be cured if one rubs the soles of the feet with cut cloves of garlic, and a tonic of honey and garlic is recommended by many, both as a blood cleanser to be used the first ten days of spring and the first ten days of autumn, to assure good health all year and as a cold and sore throat remedy.
For toothache, there are two schools of thought. One, that a sliver of garlic, placed in the cavity in the tooth will relieve the ache. The other says that the sufferer should place a slice of garlic in the ear. For earache, a cut clove of garlic is rubbed over and around the ear.
Philosophers credited garlic with many virtues: Aristophanes suggested that athletes and those going into battle eat it for courage. Virgil noted that garlic sustained the strength of harvest reapers. Pliny wrote that garlic cured consumption and sixty-one other ailments. Celsius recommended garlic as a cure for fever.
Hippocrates thought it good medicine for many health problems, but felt it was bad for the eyes. Mohammed, the Prophet, averred that garlic could ease the pain of stings and bites when applied to the wound. (There were those who went further and said that garlic would keep scorpions and serpents away from an intended victim, if the person wore or carried a clove of garlic.)
Millin, writing in 1792, praised garlic as a preventative against the plague, and Bernardin de Saint-Pierre recorded that garlic cured nervous maladies. Alfred Franklin, in the 16th century, told Parisians that by eating garlic with fresh asser in the month of May, they would be rewarded with good health all year. And other doctors of that period advised patients to carry cloves of garlic in their pockets to ward off epidemics and protect themselves against bad air.
In the early 1900's when the United States suffered ravages of flu and scarlet fever, many people of middle eastern and Balkan ancestry-burned garlic in their homes, allowing fumes to permeate the house in what many historians chronicle as successful attempts to ward off the disease.
During World War I, the British used garlic to control infection in wounds and as recently as 1963, the Russians sent out a call for garlic to help control a rampaging epidemic of flu. Modern laboratories continue to be interested in some of the apparently beneficial qualities of garlic. Russian doctors are studying its effect on cancer and in Japan research continues on garlic's effects on lumbago and arthritis. In India, studies show garlic has a preventative effect on the development of arteriosclerosis and in many hospitals, teams are investigating properties in garlic which may have some effect in controlling high blood pressure and hypertension. Studies continue in countries all over the world, proving or disproving the folk medicine tales of cure and prevention achieved by this remarkable "lily".
In the world of the occult, garlic has long been revered as a protection against known and unknown evils. Wreaths of garlic hung outside the door are said to ward off witches. And when the householder ventures outside, a clove of garlic suspended around the neck protects the wearer in his travels.
In Balkan countries, garlic rubbed on doorknobs and window frames was believed to discourage vampires. Jockeys rub the horse's bit with garlic or tie a cclove of garlic to the bridle and feel sure no other horse can then pass them in a race. In the same tradition, bull fighters wear a clove of garlic suspended on a cord around their necks to protect themselves from the horns of the bull.
It is considered a sign of great good fortune to dream of garlic but not to dream of giving it away, which is symbolic of giving away one's good luck.
There is an ancient proverb which says: Garlic is as good as ten mothers. A 17th century writer summed it up with his statement, "Our doctor is a clove of garlic."
Okay, okay, so why did I waste thousands of pixels and so much bandwidth telling you about the history and folklore of garlic? Because I'm a big believer in garlic's great taste and exceptional accompaniment to, and in, many foods, especially Italian food, which I revel in. I keep jars of peeled garlic in olive oil in my 'fridge, and when I get hungry, open a jar, nuke it for 3-5 minutes to thaw the oil, and eat the cloves. Over time, the garlic has softened and mellowed; it's now sweet and crunchy and a treat to eat with crusty Italian or French breads. And when I entertain friends with 3-4-5-6 course dinners, the cloves are close at hand and used generously in the cooking. BTW, I don't hand peel all those hundreds of cloves. I buy a jar full of 500-800 cloves at a time, for $21, at a gourmet foods store in northern Maryland. I then divy up the cloves to smaller jars, infuse each with the very best quality Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and refrigerate for future use.
As I've said before, people with garlic or onions on their breath are worth knowing and hanging out with. Potential customers have walked into my office after I've cheffed a 4 or 5 course gourmet dinner the night before, and said, "Pheeeeeew! What's that smell?" Those are exactly the kind of people I don't want anything to do with. All I can say is stay upwind of me on a hot and humid day. 'Nuff said.

Around The Garden Center.
Last weekend was cold and rainy, but that didn't stop people from coming in to see what we're up to. A number of parents and teachers from the Winterstown Elementary School remember the machete attack and slashing there a few weeks back? had donated fragrant Viburnum Burkwoodi shrubs to the principal and two teachers who were injured protecting those children. I delivered them last Saturday to their individual homes; their husbands will plant them. All the ten injured children and three injured staff are recovering from their physical wounds; the psychological wounds won't be so easily-healed over.
On Friday, we were notified that 4 of the 15 tractor-trailer loads of fresh nursery stock will be arriving during the 1st week of March. Also scheduled to arrive is lots of bare-root nursery stock primarily shrubs to be potted-up and readied for the Fall '01 or Spring '02 sales. I'm making calls to various staff to begin prep work early in that week; come back in off of "Winter layoff" and get ready for full-time employment. The Jazz is arriving slowly; I'm getting psyched and more-than-ready-for-Spring. Bring it on! Though they're 3,000+ miles away, Winter revisited Seattle last Friday, and it's a not-so subtle reminder to me that Winter's not finished with us just yet. Saturday was busy; I guess a lot of folks are afflicted with "cabin fever" right now. On Sunday, though we're closed in the Winter, I went to the GC&N Complex and fed Pickles, did some paperwork, routine computer maintenance and left about 3pm.
Why I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee LTD V8: Ford is again recalling almost 1,000,000 vehicles for life-threatening problems. A better idea? Nope, definitely not, IMHO.
Not being a NASCAR fan, I didn't see the race, but half of York County (PA) heavy NASCAR fan country was wearing black on Monday not because it was a Federal Holiday, "Presidents Day" but rather in memory of Dale Earnhardt's death. Hey, at least he was doing what he loved when he checked out; that's a lot more than most of will be able to say when our turn comes.
On Sunday afternoon, the dreaded "24hr intestinal flu" hit me like a ton of bricks. Seems everyone else has had it; now it was my turn. Fever prevented me from getting any appreciable sleep that evening and frequent bathroom trips made it a Night From Hell. By Monday morning, I was so tired and worn down, I skipped work and slept almost the entire day. Ditto Monday night. By Tuesday at 5am, I was leaving for work but only running on 5 of 8 cylinders. Lots of fluids and aspirin, I keep telling myself. By Thursday, I was back to normal, whatever that is.
It's nice to get home in the afternoon and open up the PIII-933Mhz with my cable modem: 768Kbps downstream - 512Kbps upstream data transfer rates, instead of the 49.3Kbps I have to endure on the dial-up. DSL is coming to Stewartstown, just 5 miles south of me, but I'm still too far (33,000ft) from the Red Lion (PA) substation to get it. Bummer.
Speaking of bummers, I stopped to bury another just-whacked 5-7lb cat I found along a main road in York, on my way home from work on Wednesday afternoon. People slowed down to gawk in disbelief that I was taking the time to do that in all the traffic. Just a little simple Christian kindness; hell, I'd have done the same for them if I'd have found their carcasses laying there.
Schools and businesses were closing fast and furious on Thursday, due to the pending snowstorm. The local radio stations carried thousands of announcements, as the snow began very heavily around 11am, and I couldn't get anything else for almost a full hour. The supermarkets and convenience stores were packed with panicked people buying bread, milk and TP by the truckload. Quite humorous, all in all. Roads were treacherous from the Garden Center Complex to just 5 miles north; from there, the road crews had done their work and it was a breeze. The school buses contributed to massive traffic jams on the roads, tractor trailers were sliding into cars, cars into other cars, emergency vehicles tried to clear the many accidents, road crews were trying to spread salt & cinders. It was a freaking mess. Took me just over 2.5hrs to go 14 miles to my condo.

GOP Idiots.
A monument for American Blacks? Sure, why not? What about a monument for American Whites? What's the deal? Why not Indians? Irish? et al Why one and not the others? Why the one at all? What's the deal? Are the only people who built America, black? Doubt it real seriously. Sounds like the "victim mentality" at work again. Does anyone and everyone who "feels" oppressed, need a f*cking monument to cleanse their guilty soul? Apparently so.
This simple, stupid marijuanna case was a total waste of the US Supreme Court time; it should have been handled in a lower Appeals Court, which had already ruled the case was bogus. People like this shouldn't be in prison; murderers, rapists, armed robber, child molesters and traitors, should. A huge waste of US Taxpayers' monies. Hey, that's you and me. This case, too. Both cases are clear violations of the US Constitution's 4th Amendment Rights.
Another salient article of repealing the "death tax". Makes perfect sense to me to repeal it.
This screed is good for a laugh.
The Clintoons have been unusually blessed in their enemies, who - when presented with a legitimate opportunity to discredit Bill and Hillary - always managed to shoot themselves in the foot, instead. Sound familiar, GOP'ers? Read this ditty.
W is an idiot: he attended a dinner gathering of lib-dem filth at the Graham whore's residence. What a shame. It'll come back to haunt him soon enough.

Lib-DemocRAT Garbage.
Bill Clinton's plans to carve out a lucrative career as a guest speaker appear to have suffered a significant setback from the unfolding investigation of his pardon of billionaire criminal financier Marc Rich. Luvit. Do not collect $200 on your way to Jail, Bubba moron.
Sure the Rich moron's pardon was bad, but read about a few (dozen) more criminals who are now FOB (friends of Bill).
The Houston Chronicle and Boston Herald, both staunch Clintoon defenders in past years, weigh in on what a lowlife son of a bitch he is for the quid pro quo; the pardon for sale for millions. Here's a concise synopsis of the stinking BJ Clintoon moron and his criminal activities. Even the lib-dem wacko bitch from the NYTimes, Urine Dowd, weighs in with a nasty. Bully!
I'm shocked, shocked! that disgraced ex-president BJ Clintoon was "bewildered" and "blindsided" by all this furor of a quid pro quo in the illegal Rich pardon. "There's not a single, solitary shred of evidence that I did anything wrong, or that Rich's money changed hands. And there's certainly no evidence that I took any of it." I'll bet he's covered his tracks very well, once again. Read about the Clintoonista's blatant lies about the Rich pardon.
The idiot, Bill Gates Sr, a pauper compared to the billions his son has amassed, opposes repealing the estate tax, often called the death tax. That's f*cking absurd. The government has already taxed a person's fortune; the estate tax re-taxes it upon the person's death, before his/her heirs receive it through a will. How f*cked up is that? Taxing twice (taxes and dividends) and now thrice (inheritance)? Anyone with a functioning brain can see that; obviously Billy Bob's daddy is brain dead and can't figure it out. But the PMS-NBC story doesn't elucidate that aspect of the tax. And gates' daddy-dumbo isn't smart enough to see it on his own. What an moron. Even the shit-for-brains lib-dem filth at Salon.com can't make a coherent defense of such an idiotic anti-scheme. But the NY Post does; read this. The best explanation is here. They mix the estate tax banishment bill with Bush's $1.6 trillion tax cut over 10 years, futher muddying the waters. They claim American charities would "suffer". To that bullshit I say: get another source of income, morons, rather than thrice-taxing my life's work to my heirs. Socialist and communist scumbags, all of them.
I don't f*cking believe it: The City of New York has cut a deal that could pave the way for disgraced ex-president Clintoon to set up his new headquarters on the top floor of a Harlem office tower. Kicking out the city's Administration for Child Services, who had an "ironclad lease", at $30 per square foot on the office space Clintoon wanted. Today's deal with Cogswell Realty Co moves part of the city's lease to the building's sixth floor at a new rate of $25 per square foot, thereby f*cking the taxpayer once again. But hey: the New York state morons voted for the disgraced current-senator Hitlery Rotten "Sticky Fingers" Clintoon in as their corrupt bitch for the next six years. f*ck them, I have no sympathy for those scumbags.
I hate unions; they're one of the most corrupt excluding democRATs and liberal filth factions in today's society. Finally, W did something about it. He issued 4 executive orders on separate aspects of labor policy, including one to make it easier for union workers to stop their dues from being used to pay for political activities. The others deal with union-management relations on government contracts and in the government's own workplace. Unions are communists and socialists.
It's said, "filth runs in families", and Bubba Jeffy's half-brother bastard scumbag, Roger, is definitely filth. He was also illegally pardoned by Bubba. Nothing new here for the Clintoonista white trash garbage.
Aw gee whiz, labor's pissed. Too f*cking bad, commie-socialist scumbag lowlife criminal shitheads. Deal with it and move on, morons.
Even though they "apologized" for doing so, TIME named shithead Clintoon "Person Of The Week". Why waste the space on such an moron?
Hey, it's February and that means Black History Month. Read this to put "it" in perspective for yourself. Excellent.
Hitlery Rotten's lowlife piece of shit half breed fatso lardass brother, Huge Rotten, profitted from Bubba Jeffy The Liar Clintoon's last minute criminal illegal pardons and commutations? Gee whiz, why doesn't that surprise me?
And speaking of gee whiz, where the f*ck was nothing ex-president Jimmah Carter-farter when the Whitewater, Castle Grande, Filegate, Travel Officegate, perjury, obstruction of justice, suborning of perjury, impeachment, etc, et al were going on? He sure kept his cowardly lowlife ass quiet.

morons, Scumbags & Lowlifes.
No, I'm not necessarily talking about lib-dem shitheads here, but rather idiots, morons and cretins who pontificate on subjects they know nothing about.
Road rage resulting in a dog's death? Sure, execute the offender; I'm all for it. He could have thrown a child into oncoming traffic, instead of a 10 year old dog. He needs to die for that.
If this is true, it made my week: Khalid Abdul Muhammad, the racist black bigot ousted from the Nation of Islam for hateful racial rhetoric, who went on to organize the pathetic Million Youth March (only a few thousand scumbags showed up), has reportedly died. I luvit when any piece of subhuman shit dies; the world is such a better place for their absence.
One of the sleaziest companies in the tech field, Oracle, is having the disgraced ex-president speak at some event. The lowlife chairman, Larry "Here's a sports car, young lady, now can we have sex" Ellison was charged years ago with giving secretaries in his company sports cars, dating and screwing them, and then pulling back the gifts. If you ever saw a picture of the weasel, you'd know why he's slimeball. Lawsuits were rumored, but I never heard the final disposition; he probably settled out of court so the world wouldn't know what a scumbag and lowlife he really is. Too bad, because he's subhuman garbage, as is disgraced ex-president BJ Clintoon, liar and rapist.
Jeeez, the f*cked up Brooklyn Museum of Art is at it again: pissing off Christians with lowlife exhibits, which hardly qualify as art. First, why is this place publicly funded? It should be privately funded, and then it can do whatever garbage it wants to. But with public monies, it should be accountable to the public. I certainly don't want any kind of government telling me what's art and what culture's all about. That's not their damned job; that's my determination as an individual. Best thing to do, Rudy: pull the public funding from those scumbags and let it be funded privately by the perverts, degenerates and deviants. Then is Cox-sucker lowlife trash-filth bitch would have a hard time getting any notoriety, which you've just given the slut.
Continuing its string of unbroken perversions, deviations and degeneracies, San Francisco (CA) is now expecting its left-wing wacko citizens' taxes to pay for sex change operations, for city workers. A civil rights issue? equal benefits for equal work? No such f*cking thing. It's about the lowest form of subhuman life changing form into something even more perverted. They all should be exterminated, so they don't pollute the gene pool.
I've always said that the lowlife subhuman shit who play in the NFL are white trash, blacks and other assorted detrius. Here's the proof.
Reparations for slavery? Nah, I don't f*cking think so. The US Courts will throw the shitpy and bogus lawsuit out, or there'll be a "civil war" that will make all past combined wars look tame. I'm ready, locked and loaded. Bring it on.
Here's some "Conservative" gays who make sense, despite their deviant lifestyle.
The National Enquirer nailed the hypocritical misery-profiteering racist bigot Irrev Jesse "Who's Your Daddy?" Jack-scum once again for having another extra-marital affair, and he's seeing a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy just as the paranoid f*ck-up Clintoons did for the past 8 years as being "out to get him", with a price on his ugly, empty racist head.
This is why deviant HIV-AIDS pervert filth should be segregated from the general population and let die. On the other hand, they're infecting other degenerates and lowlifes, so let 'em have some fun and get rid of all of the subhuman trash at once. Party on, homos.
Why the f*ck don't we and the Brits bomb these subhuman towelhead muslim islam filth back to the pre-stoneage era? f*ck with us? Ha, I don't think so, lowlife garbage pork suckers. Allah is a stinking moron. Gun these towelheaded pieces of shitfilth down and get them the f*ck outta the USA. If you don't f*cking like it here, LEAVE mutherf*cker scumbags!
With the ugly exceptions of Jack-scum and Sharp-scum filth, the NAALCP (National association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People) is most racist and bigoted groups of lowlifes in this country; perhaps even more so than the KKK. And I hate racists of every stripe and color. Julian "The Half-Breed Mulatto" Bond, chairman of the group's board of directors, and President Kweisi Mfume (aka LeRoy Tyrone John-scum), are the two worst scumbags ever to crawl out of a sewer or from under a slimy rock. Yet they continue to berate W, after only 3 weeks in office, for not bowing to their perverted liberal lowlife agenda.
Talk about scuzbags, whoredogs, sluts and tramp filth: Madonna The Subhuman SleazeBag is saying that W's language is "more offensive than the shitper Enema (Enimen, or whatever the f*ck the white trash shithead's name is). f*cking amazing the lowlife black f*cking whore isn't riddled with AIDS yet, after all the diseased, demented, deviant and perverted white trash and blacks she's hosed over the years. And Sir Elton John The homo who is performing with Enema during the Clammy Jammy Awards loves the shitper shitheads trash albumn; he wants a good "fisting" from the white trash moron punk slime homo coward. Lesse: whore (Madonna), black (Stevie Wonder) and homo (Elton John), all backing the white trash shithead, Enema. Makes me puke.
Uh no, I didn't watch the Clammy Jammy Awards, either. I've got better things to do with my time than watch an auditorium full of miscreant white trash, hip-hop and shit blacks and hispanics and other assorted deviant garbage. You?

Waste The Filth.
I was glad to see that Timmy "The OKC Mass Murderer" McVeigh let the midnight deadline for executive clemency pass, and that his execution is now firmly scheduled for May 16th. I 'll be dancing in the streets, along with millions of others who think this subhuman scumbag piece of white trash filth richly deserves death for Killing 168 innocent people in July of '96.
Another US traitor is caught. An 27 year veteran FBI agent is accused of more than a decade of spying for the Russians. Try and execute him, as all traitors should have done to their lowlife asses. No prison. Execution. He's jeopardized 260+ million Americans' lives.

Only In America!
Let's see if I understand the state of personal responsibility in America these days.
If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.
If your teen-age son whacks himself, you blame the rock 'n' roll musician he liked.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer your family blames the tobacco company.
If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.
If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
And, if your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
God bless America, land of the free, home of the blame.
Aren't we glad we live in America, we can do what ever we want and give blame to someone else?
It's the lib-democRAT shitfilth lowlife scumbags who've propagated this "victim mentality" upon us all. whack 'em on sight.

The New Yorker.
Don't accuse the folks at The New Yorker of rushing into anything. After years of cautious restraint, everyone's favorite literary weekly has launched a site to complement their newsstand edition. Happily, the results are nothing less than you'd expect smart, neatly organized, and offering just enough online-only content to keep things exciting. All the magazine's traditional sections are represented, from the short takes in "The Talk of the Town" to the longer fiction and non-fiction pieces. Best of all, connoisseurs of sly wit can now add "Shouts and Murmurs" to their weekly humor menu. And, yes, they have cartoons, too.

| b a c k  t o  j o h n ' s  j o u r n a l |